Moroi Disgrace
by Bthedancer14
Summary: Ruthera was always a disgrace in her family, the Ozeras. It wasn't easy growing up in a family of Moroi when you were a dhampir; however, after protecting her brother Christian, she was forced to heal and prepare. Now, sixteen years old, she's determined to be his guardian. But there seems to be more to that attack...can she make it through? OC/LissaxChristian/RosexDimitri. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first vampire academy fanfic so don't judge TOO harshly; I saw the movie and decided that I had to read the books. Am loving them so far! Currently on **_**Spirit **_**Bound. In this story, it's talking place right between **_**Frostbite**_** and** _**Shadow Kissed**__. _**Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Richelle Mead's books or characters; I only determine what happens to them in the story. Some spoilers!**

Ruthera

Life is full of mishaps and mistakes; I'm the living proof of it. My birth is…well, was, considered a great shame in my family. My father was Moroi with a Moroi wife and son; however, I'm a dhampir. Yep, pops couldn't keep it in his pants forever. According to my birth certificate, I was born only a year after my brother, but from the way society treats me, I'm just a waste of breathing space.

My name is Ruthera, and because of my birth, I begged to be training for my brother's guardian. At nine years old, I wanted to prove to the world that I wasn't some shameful part of the Moroi world; I loved my brother, enough to be willing to give my life for him. But, I have a feeling that he would much rather do the same for me. Then again, that was like seven years ago; I would have continued training like everyone else if our Strigoi parents hadn't tried to take us to their lair.

"Ruthera Ozera, are you ready?" I looked up at the stern looking guardian staring at me; it's been seven years since I've even seen my brother. He's probably not even aware of my arrival, my status, or my goal. Going to St. Vladmir's to learn to become his guardian. Brothers and Sisters stick together, right?

As I walk through the halls, I can't help but feel anxious; I'm obviously the "shiny toy" now since I'm new. I looked down at me clothes and inwardly sigh; sometimes, it felt like my body wanted two things. From the waist up, I'm flat chested and slim, but the waist down, it's curvy. I don't look beautifully voluptuous like a dhampir, neither do i look beautifully skinny like a Moroi. Thankfully, I was wearing my big baggy hood and black skinny jeans. In a way, I looked nothing like Christian. We both shared the short dark hair, but that's where the similarities ended. He was extremely pale while I had chocolate tan skin; he possessed blue eyes. I had boring brown.

"Who's the blood whore?" My heart beat quickened at the insult but I held my tongue. A beautiful blonde Moroi stood in front of me, glaring at me with much contempt; I looked at her and immediately saw her as an enemy. "I asked you a question!" Holding back my anger, I merely shrugged and tried to get past her. Then, without warning, a splash of water pushed me to the ground and drenched me. I heard the laughter of the girl and her goons, and I could feel my pulse getting faster and my eyes dilating. I've had MAJOR anger management issues for years, probably due to the attack years ago. I was about to lose it when I heard a kinder and strong voice.

"Mia, I suggest you leave her alone; she didn't do anything to you." I looked up and gasped; despite me being from royal blood myself, I could not help but feel awed and self-conscious in the presence of Vasilissa Dragomir; she was now the last person in her blood line. She must have heard me because she looked at me and smiled. Without minding the fact that I was wet and probably looked ridiculous, she took my hand and helped me up; she even took my back pack (which was wet as well). I protested, not wanting to bother her, but she waves my hand away. Luckily, the bitches had left us alone so she asked, "What's your name?" I said,

"I'm Ruthera. A dhampir." Out of habit, I try not to let people know of my heritage; it's just…I never felt like an Ozera. She however grinned at the name; she was about to ask something when a boy popped up behind her and held her waist. I froze when I saw him; he had dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He also had pale white skin; Christian Ozera stood in front of me. My first impulse was to run and hug him and cry, but I realized that I couldn't do that. He probably doesn't wanna be bothered by some little sister. Surprising enough, I heard a scuffle and a choked back sob. Then, the warmth of a hug enveloped me as arms twisted around my body.

"Ruthie, oh my god!" I then began to cry, breathing in his scent. My brother was hugging me! He actually remembered me? Then, without warning, I felt something strange in my mind; all of a sudden, I heard him say in my head, _I'll protect her; no one will ever hurt my sister._

Freaked out, I shoved him away and yelled, "What the hell?" He had a look of pure confusion in his face; in my head, I could feel the hurt in his body. "I can…hear you in my head." Then, all of a sudden, I was seeing the world in his eyes, and as he (or I in this case) looked at Lissa, there was affection? "You're dating a Dragomir?"

"She has a bond with him." A new girl joined our little group; I looked at her and tried to figure her out. Funnily, I heard him say in my mind, _Rose Hathaway, Lissa's "guardian"_. She said, "You have a bond with Christian like Lissa and I do. I guess it has to do with the fact that you two are related. Never knew that Christian had a sis." Grinning at the girl, I said,

"Well, I'm kinda a sore spot in the family." He nudged me affectionately.

"That wasn't your fault; you're still my sister and that won't ever change." Sighing, I looked at him.

"Christian, I'm not just your sister; I've been rehabilitating and training…hopefully, I will be able to be your guardian." His affectionate face changed and became emotionless for a while; then, it contorted into one of fury and anger. He yanked the backpack from Lissa and my bag from my hands and began to walk away from us. I then realized he was trying to kick me out; I became angry and ran after him. After snitching everything from him, I walked away with my head held high. "I'm going to train here, no matter what you say. It's my duty." I heard him run after me and yank me around. When I looked at him, I actually felt afraid for the first time in my life. His eyes locked my own, daring me to look away.

"I will not have you risk your life for me; you did that once and look what happened! YOU NEARLY DIED!" In fury, I screamed,

"AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!" A great silence covered the hall at our outburst. Through our little "bond", my mind was pounding with anger and white hot fury. Taking a deep breath, I said quietly, "Christian, I'm a dhampir. It's my duty to protect the Moroi; I need to protect you. I've always known that since I was a child." He retorted,

"You're my little sister; I'm supposed to be the one watching you-"

"That would only be true if I were a MOROI! Stop trying to make me be someone I'm not." With that, I walked away. The whole time I walk from him, I hold back tears; this was not how I wanted our "reunion" to go. We just ended up screaming at each other.

"So, you're a dhampir." Rose was walked beside me with a sad smile; despite my brother's obvious dislike of her, I decided that she would be a strong ally; obviously a dhampir, she might be able to help me.

"Yep; been training since I was three. Protected my first Moroi at nine."

"Who was Christian." It was a fact of life; despite the fact that I was younger, I was taught that if it were both our lives on the line, I would go first.

"Yeah…our parents came for us…him, I suppose. And they lunged at him; I was so desperate to prove that I wasn't a waste of space. So I took it." Her eyes widened.

"Weren't they Strigoi? Did you-"

"No. They made sure of that; after I was attacked, they kept me on lock down to make sure. Seven years to be exact; they even put training in there." With a concerned face, she questioned.

"So…you didn't have any physical side effects?"

"Well…besides anger, no. I don't regret it, though. They go first, you know." I quoted the catch phrase all guardians and novices go through. She smiled grimly. Wanting to get off the depressing topic, I asked,

"So, I know that my brother is with Vasilissa…who are you with?" She started stammering. "So I suppose it's just really complicated?" With a nervous smile, she answered,

"Beyond complicated. Do you have a boyfriend?" I shook my head; I had already decided that I wasn't gonna get one. I needed my focus to be on Christian, and Christian alone.

"No, I gotta, you know, prepare. I just…wanna fight Strigoi." I had fought then before, with my family. But now, I was going to be in the real world with this. Would I be able to make it happen? Would I be strong enough?"


	2. Chapter 2

Ruthera

"Ruthera, what on earth are you doing?" I groaned at the sound of my name on Christian's voice; he obviously hadn't realized that I wasn't going anywhere but to my class; through our "bond", I could feel his increasing frustration and fear for me. I knew that he would like nothing more than to take care of me, but that wasn't an option for me. Not anymore. Sighing, I answered,

"I'm going to my lessons, Christian. What about you?" He happened to be walking with Vasilissa (who I couldn't look straight in the eye at the moment. I unfortunately "walked in" via mind link on them getting it on…very disturbing) and Rose. I swear, those three seemed to be all connected to the hip. To my surprise, I felt mildly jealous; I was his sister, but I couldn't exact relate to him like this. For some reason, I felt almost cut off from him, despite our connection. I wasn't even sure what _that _was. I had spoken to Rose about it last night, and she said that it only applied to Moroi who specialized in spirit. Funny enough, I was familiar with the term; but I knew that my brother had specialized in fire. So…where's the logic in that?

"I'm going to the feeders. Would you like to join us?" He seemed to be in denial over the reason I was here, but I wasn't about to rain on his parade. I shrugged and followed them; the whole time, I listened, trying to figure out the world he lived in now.

From what I heard, Christian, Rose, and some other people were kidnapped by the Strigoi and tortured…Rose actually killed her first two Strigoi after witnessing the death of her friend. And now, there was talk of Moroi starting to fight alongside the guardians; the practical side of my mind thought it deserved to be treated as terrorism. However my hopeful side disagreed. I wished that Moroi would be able to protect themselves one day and be independent.

As we made it there, Christian and Vasilissa went inside while Rose and I stood outside and waited diligently. "So, what's your first 'fighting' class?" I looked at my schedule and showed her.

"I also have some extra training sessions with Dimitri Belikov. Apparently, I need the practice. And I agree." Her face changed as she said,

"Dimitri? That's my mentor! I suppose we will be training together!" She gave me a grin and dragged me towards the gym. "We always practice before class begins!"

"What about Vasilissa and Christian?" I was looking behind me, worriedly.

"They'll be fine. Anyway, let's go." She led me to a gym and inside was a tall man with shoulder-length hair and brown eyes; he looked at Rose with a smile and some admiration in his eyes; as I looked at her, she was echoing this. It quickly hit me; Dimitri and Rose had something going on. Wow. Now I understand what she meant by complicated. He walked up to me and said, with a twinge of a Russian accent,

"So, you must be Ruthera?" I nodded softly. "Well, have you ever fought a Strigoi?" Before I could ponder his strange question, he lunged for me much like a Strigoi. Following my instincts, I took my arm and quickly deflect the blow; sure it hurt, but I was a guardian, not some weak girl. He kept throwing moves at me, some that I wasn't able to avoid. At the end, I was panting on the floor while Rose and him grinned at me from above. "Well, I must say that I'm impressed. You just need to have some of your techniques polished." Rose exhaled sharply.

"You didn't tell me that after I sparred with you!" He shrugged.

"She's better than you were." With that, he helped me up. I grinned and said,

"So…I come back tomorrow?" He nodded softly. "Ok…well, bye, Mr. Belikov." I was walking away with Rose when I heard him say,

"Call me Dimitri."

Rose

As I walked with Ruthera, I learned more about her and Christian; at the moment, Christian and I were sort of past the "frenemies" phase but still cruising as awkward companions. Sure we experienced a lot after being imprisoned by Strigoi, but still…we weren't buddies yet.

"Hey, little dhampir." I groaned at the sound of Adrian Ivashkov, the most annoying thing created in this world. I looked up and saw the infuriatingly handsome Moroi leaning against a pillar, with a cigarette.

"Hey, Adrian. This is Ruthera, Christian's sister." He raised his eyebrows at my friend and grinned. I hoped that she would turn out to be not interested and luckily she wasn't impressed. Instead she asked,

"Can I have one?" She was gesturing to the cigarette pack. He nodded softly and passed her one. She took a lighter from her pocket and lit a flame. As she led it to the thing, the girl almost seemed intrigued with the fire. Finally, she lit it and brought it to her lips. She breathed softly and a small grin got on her face. "God, it's been so long…" Adrian asked,

"So you're a dhampir, yet you smoke?" She shrugged.

"I really didn't have a hobby over at the rehabilitation center…so I snitched one of the employees' stuff. I can't get enough of them now."

"Isn't that like hazardous to your health or something?" She made a poor imitation of his voice and said,

"'Isn't that like hazardous to your health or something?' God, I would have thought that you out of all people would have been a little bit more fun than that." Before I could rebuke her, Adrian retorted,

"Sorry if I assumed you were an uptight guardian in training." She replied,

"I am. I just have my wicked ways."

"RUTHERA MARGO OZERA!" The sound of Christian's voice startled her as she tried to put out the fire. Finally he made it to her, fuming. He had obviously seen her smoking. "What on earth are you doing with this?" He snatched the thing from her fingers, causing her to glare at him.

"Last time I checked, you didn't have the right to rule my life. I can smoke if I want." She retorted with a smile on her face. Then without warning, she held her head, as if she had a headache. "Damn you. Stop using the bond against me!" His face contorted in concentration and she groaned loudly. "Princess, do you mind?" Lissa happened to be near him at the moment and she didn't waste any time in smacking him in the back of his head. He stopped and glared at her.

"Ow!" As she began to reprimand him, I focused my attention on Adrian and Ruthera. In the time that I've known the guy, he's never truly shown interest in anything else other than flirting with me. Now, I see him trying to make her feel better. What was going on here?

She honestly looked at him like a kindred spirit; knowing Adrian, she could be under compulsion at the moment. She does look like she has the hots for him. I refuse to let him suck her into her spell. Smiling, I walked up to them and say,

"Well, um, Ruthera, I love how sociable you're getting, but we do have class…in five minutes." She froze and looked at the clock; then she bolted for her class. As soon as she left, I found myself glaring at Adrian. "Stay away from her." He took a puff from the cancer causing substance in his fingers and smiled.

"She's cool; I like her. Anyway, I didn't pressure her into smoking; she did it herself."

"You encouraged her." So far, I wasn't liking the relationship between them too; it was way too casual for my liking. I want to help her become a strong guardian…not be slacker like Adrian Ivashkov.


	3. Chapter 3

Ruthera

"Come on, you can do it!" Breathing heavily, I struggled to block my "enemy's" attacks; it's been two weeks since I came to the academy and I can already see the difference in my skills. I'm now much quicker and stronger, and my stamina's improved. I just feel different these days; I still hear Christian in my head, obviously angry at the fact that I'm still pursuing the guardian path, more specifically, _his _guardian. Fortunately for me, I improved greatly.

Rose Hathaway has become one of my absolute best friends, along with Princess Lissa Dragomir. While Rose is always sparring with me, Lissa has taken the occupation of being my tutor. With the help of those two and Dimitri, they managed to get me in advanced classes along with them so I can graduate early. I know Christian was counting on me being too late to apply to be his guardian, but that plan went out the window. Now, my days are filled with studying and whatnot.

"Son of a bitch!" Dimitri knocked me to the ground without mercy, forcing me to fall straight on my ass. He quickly runs to my side, but I brush it off. He's been going "easy" on me lately, and I need him to stop that.

"Are you ok?" Biting my lip, I nod furiously. I push myself up and prepared myself for another beating when Rose ran in, looking pissed. Dimitri immediately ran up to her and asked her what was wrong. I did the same.

"_Roza_, what's wrong?" Huffing, she said,

"We got our partners for the field experience, including yours." Oh! I've been looking forward to this thing; this will be my chance to be able to show Christian I'm more than capable of protecting him. She handed a piece of paper to me, and I scanned the names. I had…LISSA?!

"What the fuck!" I hollered out; I was supposed to protect Christian! What's the deal with this?

"I have your brother! I'm Lissa's guardian!" Heads will roll.

Turns out it was for real and it was not some mistake. Apparently, everyone wants to see how I will do protecting the last of the Dragomir line. As much as I love her, I wanted to protect Christian! Now, we are at the table eating while Christian and Rose glower at each other.

_Really, am I that much of an asshole? I swear she always blows shit out of proportion._

Not thinking, I answer Christian's "private" question.

"Yes, you are a major asshole, and it's just ironic how we both got the each other's desired charge." Lissa then looked at me, with some hurt in her eyes.

"So, you don't want to protect me?" Oh no. Don't you dare start tearing up at me…Gah.

"No, Lissa, it's just…you're Rose's Moroi. She's grown up learning how to protect you; it's sorta the same with me and Christian. Anyway, you should be proud of me; at least, I didn't start screaming at the guardians."

"Who's screaming?" Adrian appeared next to me, drinking from a flask. Ivashkov was a Moroi vamp I had gotten attached to; sure, he was probably a crappy influence but I like him. His way of looking at life was interesting.

"Oh, so you didn't hear of Rose's escapade?" He grinned and laughed.

"Oh…that. Yeah I heard." Rose meanwhile indignantly declared,

"Hey, you yelled too!" I shot back,

"NOT IN PUBLIC!"

"ARGH!" All our heads spun at the sound of the scream; a guardian popped outta nowhere and began attacking some novice. That's when I realized that this was the field experience; we needed to protect our Moroi. That's what I will be doing; oh shit.

"Hey, guys." Eddie Castile walked up to us with a big smile. The Moroi who was a bitch to me on my first day popped up next to him. I focused myself on staring at the food and Lissa. Technically, we were in guardian mode; so far, I was aware that there was a "Strigoi" nearby, eyeing my charge. With no warning, he lunged for Lissa. She squealed, and I went straight into action…along with Rose. She jumped in front of her and began hand combat with the Guardian; I turned my head and saw Dimitri run for Christian. Grinning, I jumped in and kicked him away. Dimitri smiled and lunged for me again; I fought back, memorizing everything he had taught me. Luckily, I managed to "stake" him. He grinned at me and ruffled my hair. I was actually pretty proud of myself…until Headmistress Kirova started squawking at me and Rose.

"Rosemarie, I expect this out of you, but I'm astounded by you, Ruthera." Rose came up behind me, obviously just as confused as I was. "One thing is to show displeasure at guarding Miss Vasilissa Dragomir; but to absolutely refuse to protect her?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I was protecting her, but Rose Hathaway made it to her first; that's why I ran for Christian. Why does it matter? Aren't we all protecting the Moroi?" Kirova glared at me and hissed,

"You have better watch your tone before I expel you right this minute." My mouth gaped open, and I was about to say something else when Dimitri stepped in.

"Headmistress, she did her best to protect Christian. Vasilissa Dragomir was being protected by Rose Hathaway; no one is at fault." With a huff, she proclaimed,

"Fine. But this time, you protect YOUR Moroi, do you understand Miss…" Oh my god! She didn't even know my own last name. Before I could say "just Ruthera", Christian answered swiftly,

"Ozera. She's my sister, Headmistress." The woman then glared at me and left. Why was I the one who got hounded? I swear, she just looked at me like I was a piece of meat. Yes, I've gotten used to the shame of being Lucas Ozera's illegitimate daughter and the shame of her father turning Strigoi by choice. With tears filled my eyes, I ran from the hall and into the training room. I grabbed a stake and started piercing all the practice dummies I could see. Screaming, I threw the thing to the ground and just cried and cried. It seemed like no matter what I did, the world only saw me as a screw up. The way she looked at me…

"Ruthera?" I looked up and saw Dimitri there, looking concerned. I stood up and wiped away my tears, determined to not let him see me cry. I then fake smiled and asked,

"Hey, Dimitri. What's up?" He walked towards her and placed his strong hands on her shoulders.

"Ruthera, if you're upset, you shouldn't hold it in."

"I'm not upset…I'm just frustrated-" I couldn't hold in the tears anymore; I cried out sobbing and held on to him. He hugged me and rubbed my back as I wet his clothes. Dimitri, the only father figure I've truly had, murmured a lullaby:

_Where the dreamy Volga flows _

_There's a lonely Russian rose _

_Gazing tenderly _

_Down upon her knee _

_Where a baby's brown eyes glisten _

_Listen _

_Ev'ry night you'll hear her croon _

_A Russian lullaby _

_Just a little plaintive tune _

_When baby starts to cry _

_Rock-a-bye my baby _

_Somewhere there may be _

_A land that's free for you and me _

_And a Russian lullaby._

I was studying at the library when Christian walked in. He didn't look mad for once; instead, there was a sympathetic look on his face. Frowning, I pointedly ignored his presence as he sat down. I didn't want anyone's pity.

"Ruthie, I want to know that you shouldn't let them get to you. It's really not that big of a deal-"

"Says the boy who's only pitied. You don't know anything, Christian." He looked taken aback by my sharp tone.

"What? I've been shunned for just being the SON OF TWO STRIGOI!" Wow, now he was yelling at me? I stood up and yelled back,

"Well, I'm the illegitimate daughter of Lucas Ozera; my own mother was a BLOOD WHORE! Imagine being the black sheep in the fucking Ozera family tree! Imagine hating yourself over and over as a child while your step-mother called you a disgrace and while your father barely acknowledged me! Imagine that, Christian!" We both just stood there, breathing heavily. I had never revealed my feelings about our parents; but it all just bubbled out. I hated it. I hated feeling like this.

I sighed softly and said, "I'm sorry; I didn't put your feelings into the equation. I'm just being selfish."

_That was the first time you ever told me how you really felt._

I looked at him, confused. There were unshed tears in his eyes; my own cold hearted brother, crying.

_I never knew; all those years, you refused to let me see how much you were hurting. Ruthie, you're the strongest person I know._

He placed his hand on my cheek and smiled.

_Why do you have to be my Guardian? You'll just get yourself killed._

I whispered,

"Because…what else am I gonna do?"

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